In his still quite extraordinary life, Britain’s first gay dad Barrie Drewitt-Barlow has always kept his eyes open. In 1999 he made headlines with then partner Tony Drewitt Barlow when they welcomed twins Saffron and Aspen via surrogacy.
They were two extremely successful self made millionaires, who were pioneers of LGBTQ+ parenting in the UK. And they also broke new ground for their journey to parenthood, which has since inspired many others to think differently about the meaning of family.
Barrie and Tony ultimately grew their family, raising five kids between them, and had a few business ventures along the way. That their 32-year relationship eventually ended on good terms held under no secret, but they were defiantly successful and quite publicly admired.
After they parted ways, Barrie and Tony continued to co parent their family and kept things tasteful. Both knew they wanted to ensure their children’s happiness and to be leaders of respectful separation.
But as life progressed, Barrie fell for Scott Hutchinson, 25 years his junior. Scott was one of Barrie’s daughter’s Saffron’s family friends and seemed to have some kind of connection with her.
Almost immediately the budding relationship became a public fixation, fueled by the perception that Scott used to be Saffron’s boyfriend. That narrative added another layer of controversy to their union, and a lot of speculation and criticism.
The scrutiny didn’t seem to deter Barrie and Scott with their relationship strengthening and both of them openly talking about how close they are. Barrie, as usual, came clean with the public, encouraging people to enjoy real love.
But some found their relationship bad for business — they had to reconcile the age difference and that they were related. Others cheered their willingness to seek happiness despite social judgment.
As Scott’s past with Saffron remains in the public debate, Barrie decided to enlighten the nature of Scott’s past relationship with Saffron. He then made a surprising twist to the well publicized story of their relationship.
Scott and Saffron had never been romantically involved in the traditional way, Barrie explained. The two girls had a purely platonic connection, which wasn’t romantic or physical.
It was a revelation that shocked many and tore apart the story used as a justification for much of the slight Barrie and Scott took from fans. That public backlash had been largely a result of a misconception about Scott and Saffron’s past.
Scott’s initial reluctance to talk about his s3xuality was likely the cause of the misunderstanding, admitted Barrie. When Scott determined he was gay, to not come out publicly at that time, they pretended they were dating, and among other things, made up a cover story because of Scott’s personal journey.
Sympathetic to the complexities of relationships, and the difficulties of loving in unconventional ways, the truth behind their dynamic straightens the story. It also seems to provide insight into how false judgments are fed by misconceptions.
After nearly a decade together, Barrie and Scott have two kids – Valentina and Romeo – and are focused on their family. Barrie’s life choices have netted him much of his wealth through his business ventures, and he hasn’t seem unafraid to defend himself by saying that.
Barrie defended the couple from criticism of ‘keyboard warriors’ who questioned their happiness and who dared to consider their authenticity. He refused to care what they thought, ‘I couldn’t give a flying f**k,’ he would say.
However, the story they tell is proof that the true meanings of love and family have evolved, and real love and family is possible in spite of what the rest of society believes. Now we know the truth, Barrie and Scott’s relationship shows us what those terms of love look and sound like.
Feature image Credit: (Instagram/ @donbarrie1)